I like food.
"Oh yes don't we all?"
No, you don't understand- I really like food.
I realized this over lunch with a friend today, we do lunch quite often and they noticed that while I eat- I can't help but talk about eating other things.
Today, while giggling and eating a Five Guys' cheeseburger (10/10 go get one) I recounted no fewer than 5 other dining experiences.
I tell my friend (I think I might have been moaning a bit at this point. Apologies to you, friend.) about my love for Chick-Fil-A (their food, not their politics) and how sad I am that it is my favorite American food that has not migrated over the pond yet. I tell my friend about the massive hot dog with plantains I scarfed down after running a 10k last summer. I tell them about tamales so fresh you can feel the steam through the corn husk. I tell them about burgers from IN-N-OUT and the secret (not so secret) menu. I tell them about eating at Five Guys in Times Square at 2 in the morning.
And then,
I feel guilt.
I feel like I'm undeserving to eat such food. I haven't worked out today- how will I possibly lose weight eating a burger and fries and also talking about food while eating said burger and fries.
I want to throw up, the reflex is still there. I wrap the foil around the rest of my burger and focus on my diet coke, I'm silent while I think about downing a glass of milk to aid with the purge. I try to lighten the air- joke about needing to use the gym for 5 hours. How on earth have I lost weight, I'm eating like a pig?
Then friend tells me I should write about food.
"Wut?"
I tell friend that they must be mistaken because if I blogged about food I would weigh so much and I'm trying to stop my eyes from being glassy, maybe I can make it look like the tears are from laughing too hard.
Friend knows my problem, friend has seen me cry unhappy tears before.
My friend then tells me that writing about something I'm afraid of can help me overcome.
I'd like that very much.
I unwrap the foil and finish my cheeseburger. The ketchup is still warm which makes the vinegar contrast against the savory beef. The cheese sticks to the foil but not to the roof of my mouth. The fries were a little more burnt than I usually care for, but they tasted light and crunched softly as I bit down.
So here I am. First blog post about food.
My burger still sits in my stomach, along with those amazing fries. (Seriously though if you haven't been to Five Guys you are MISSING OUT)
Maybe I'll do this once a week maybe more, maybe less.
I'm not as scared as I was this afternoon.
Milk tastes better when it's in tea that is too sweet anyways.
